They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
she told me i tasted like america
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
