but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
