make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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