I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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