Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
