I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
