I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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