I love black thongs
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
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