And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
she told me i tasted like america
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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