drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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