...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
my shit smells like andre
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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