Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
