Me too!
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
