He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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