Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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