I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
