I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
