found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
