i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
