I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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