i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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