so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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