her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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