i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
