i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
