If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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