just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
