I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
