after a month anything with tits is on the radar
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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