I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
third nipple confirmed
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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