I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
