So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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