I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
