I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
They took my balls.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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