haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize
