He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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