We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
