YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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