her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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