She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
