first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
