Screwed.edu
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
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