which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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