After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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