why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize