i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
