Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
