I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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