I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
The feeling are messing with the penis
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
