a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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