i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
