i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
