my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
please come you make the beer taste better
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
