Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I look excited, but its just a facade.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
