Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
