I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
