do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
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