And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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