he wants to bone in the snuggie
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
