doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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