He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
